Blaise Tapp: Brexit Britain crisis takes the biscuit!

PRIME MINISTER: Refusing to back down on the plan to leave the EU. PIC: PA

Even though I am a considerable way off getting fitted for the patterned grey cardigan and tartan slippers, it doesn't stop me thinking about a time when I won't be doing very much.

When will I retire? That is anybody’s guess but when, or if, I get to stage in life where I have more hair growing out of my ears than on the top of my head, I will want to have plenty of stories to bore my grandchildren with.

When I was a snotty nosed whippersnapper with a swagger, rather than the middle aged waddle which defines me today, I couldn’t understand why old people talked so much about their past.

I have long since come to realise that it is because, no matter how many times they are shown, senior citizens can never completely get the hang of the television remote control, so rather than sit in silence, pensioners will regale anybody who will listen with tales about how much better life was when avocado bathroom suites were all the rage.

Considering the fact that, even now, I need help from a three and a nine year-old in order to watch reruns of Minder and the Royle Family, then it is nailed on that I will need some top notch anecdotes to see me through my autumn years.

Thankfully, this should not be a problem as there really will be plenty for me to drone on about, if and when the time comes. Not only am I lucky enough to do a job where I meet extraordinary people from all walks of life but I am not sure whether reality has ever been as barmy as it is right now.

Us Brits have always liked laughing across the pond at the Americans but, despite the fact that the Trump years are transpiring to be even more insane than was predicted, they have nothing on Brexit Britain.